“Sometimes, a Muslim mother dreams of a perfect motherhood.
They expect perfect children who can sit quietly for two hours in a masjid so they can listen to an Islamic talk and get inspired, but not realizing their kids are bored.
They expect perfect children who behave 100% in hours play dates and outings, without thinking how kids who get tired are cranky.
They expect their perfect children to memorize many Surahs and du’as in a short time, without realizing that every child differs in readiness.
They expect perfect children who are quiet, clean the house after playing and solat on time, without thinking that even adults struggle doing the same things.
They expect the children to follow all instructions 100% and look happy, without realizing that we don’t use a remote control for their behavior and feelings.
We cannot look happy all the time too.
If we expect such perfection, we not only get disappointed, but also feel we are not good parents.
We forget they are humans. Humans make mistakes. Childhood should be a time where it is safe to make mistakes so they can learn.
There are no perfect adults, so why expect perfect children?
As we strive perfection, let’s remind ourselves Only Allah is Perfect.
We are weak. We struggle. We pray for His Help.
So let’s embrace imperfection as a journey towards perfection. The journey is an important as its end. Expectations comes with patience.
Breathe, strive and give thanks.”
(Umm Anissa, Admin of Muslim Kid Genius)
Waking up and find this post on my Facebook timeline, is totally awakening. That makes me reflect on how do I deal with my children: their crankiness and those annoying behaviours for all these years.
A deep voice inside my heart said,
“I put my standards too high for them. They are human, but do I treat them like they are humans with feelings and emotions? Why should they be a perfect children while I can never be a perfect mother, anyway..?”
Children.. They are little, their journey is still a long way to go..
Allow them to make mistakes, but teach them to deal with those mistakes and how to learn from it. Remember, people who made no mistakes, never learn.
Being a parent is a long and exhausting journey. Never make the journey harder by expecting many things beyond our reach. Realize this, you and your children are a team, and your goal is entering Jannah together.
Enjoy your journey with your children.. while you can.
“You have a newborn for a month, infant for a year, toddler for two years, preschooler for two years, children for five years, preteen for three years, teenager for five years. And then they’re off. Take care in what you do with those years. They are few, though they may seem like many.” (Anonymous)
~ One cloudy morning at East Jakarta, December 2nd 2014 ~
[ image source: Tumblr ]