Chemistry: When Extrovert Meets Introvert

“And then my soul saw you and it kind of went, ‘Oh there you are. I’ve been looking for you.’“

A few days ago while browsing my Youtube account, I found one of that oldies Asian drama series. Drama asal negeri Sakura yang cukup hits dan pernah tayang sekitar akhir tahun 90’an lalu. Being curious, so I clicked play..

It’s like a flash back to my teen-age many years behind. Still remember a bit about this movie but missed many details of the story. This series has 11 episodes. Nggak kayak sinetron jaman sekarang yaa yang nggak kelar-kelar sampai tahunan selama berseason-season. Sampai tokohnya punya anak dan anaknya itu punya anak lagi. Never ends, lol. So glad that I have no TV at home today 😀

Back to the topic.. The things about that drama which I highlight the most is about the personality of the main characters. That fictional story caught my attention not only because its storyline, touching dialogue or talented casts, but I love how powerful the characters build the story.

When a quiet-shy-introvert meets a cheerful-noisy-extrovert, what would happen next? One is very open, another is very discreet. Ha! That sounds very interesting to me 🙂

Ketika kita memilih seseorang untuk dijadikan sahabat, rekan kerja, kawan hidup, biasanya kita akan mencari yang setipe dengan kita. Kepribadiannya, hobinya, kesukaannya, impian hidupnya.. Kita cenderung memilih yang sama atau paling tidak, yang paling mendekati dengan karakter kita.

So I thought it was until I’ve watched that movie (again).

Karakter satunya ekstrovert abisss. Aktif, ceria, roughly insensitive, mixes easily-rather obnoxious and annoying. Yang satunya lagi kind of introvert and a bit reclusive. Pemalu, pendiam, tertutup dan sangat perasa. A guy with delicate manner and good self-control yet having problem how to express his own feeling. A big deal of difference, eh?

Accidentally, their worlds collide. Ketika dua karakter yang berbeda 360 derajat bersinggungan, tentu banyak hal yang tak terelakkan. Conflicts, arguments and misundertandings happen almost every single day. They fight, make up, be nice to each other, fight, then make up again. Complicated emotions.

In the mean time, they’ve found another person who they think could suit them. A person with similar character and interest. So they try their best to work this relationship. But it never works anyway.

In the end, this intro vs extro couple, they finally realized.. There is something missing: their togetherness. They finally realized they need each other so bad. They assumed, being with the person who is similar to their personality will make them feel comfortable and relief. Unfortunately, it isn’t.

The fact is, mereka justru menemukan kenyamanan dan chemistry dengan orang yang sifatnya jauh berbeda dengan dirinya. Sesuatu yang hilang ketika bersama dengan orang lain yang karakternya setipe. Then finally they find a way to make it together.

“One day, someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else.”

That click. There aren’t many people that you just click with. And with this opposite character it will be very difficult at the first. But people created the word ‘soulmate’ to explain this kind of situation. They are totally different but they are similar in some ways. The ways they never saw or noticed before.

They laugh at the same lines. They know well how to cheer up when another is feeling down. They fill the hole in each other’s soul and mend their broken wings. They understand what is not spoken between them. They complete each other.

Soon I realized, being a good match doesn’t mean to be at the same size, have similar personality or came from the same background. It has nothing to do with it.

It’s all about something we called ‘chemistry’. It’s not about something I feel for you, it’s about something I don’t feel for anyone but you. Eaaa 😀

Then people may wonder..

“Kok bisa sih mereka cocok? Beda banget gitu..”

Nah.. Kadang kita juga nggak tau kan, kenapa kok kita cocok aja sama seseorang. Even orang yang menurut manusia sedunia paling nggak cocok bagi kita, tapi kalo emang kita nyaman sama dia, tanpa bisa ngejelasin kenapa.. Then what can they say?

Karena yang ngerasain nyaman atau tidaknya ya cuma kita. Mereka kan cuma outsider yang bisa melihat dari luarnya aja. Only we who really know and feel.. what is on the inside.

Saya sendiri, punya pengalaman yang mirip soal persahabatan beda karakter itu. Pertama kali ketemu, kesannya:

“Wah nih orang diem banget. Serius gitu. Beda banget nih sama saya yang aslinya ceriwis dan gokil ini. Can we make it?”

Setelah lama kenal, sering ngobrol dan jalan bareng.. Wow, ternyata orangnya asyik banget. Such a nice, friendly and warm person. Kind and thoughtful. Beda banget sama kesan pertama kali ketemu dulu. Suatu waktu, iseng-iseng saya nanya..

“Kayaknya pas pertama ketemu dulu, kamu orangnya diem banget. Bawaannya serius terus. Jarang becanda apalagi ketawa. Kayak jaim gitu. Sampai aku mikir, apa iya kita bisa cocok?”

“Ya aku emang gitu kalo sama orang yang baru kenal. Kan belum tau juga sifat aslinya kayak gimana. Ntar aku ajak becanda, malah tersinggung. Tapi kalo udah nyaman sama seseorang, aslinya aku ya gini..”

Then we laughed together  🙂

Ehm, kalo dipikir.. iya juga sih. Saya sendiri kalo ketemu sama orang baru ya nggak langsung bisa 100% nyambung. Malah kesan pertama, biasanya mereka bilang saya ini orangnya cool alias super serius.

Apalagi yang habis baca tulisan-tulisan saya di blog trus ketemu langsung.. Loh kok.. loh kok? Hahaha. Pasti itu orang belum kenal aslinya saya deh. Kalo udah kenal, pasti nyesel pernah punya pikiran kayak gitu. #eh

Ada orang-orang yang ketika bersamanya, kita seakan tak tahu apa yang harus dibicarakan. Tapi ada orang-orang yang ketika bersamanya, kita seperti tak pernah kehabisan bahan pembicaraan. Kedekatan memang bukan sesuatu yang dapat dipaksakan.

In any relationship, friendship or connection with people.. Terkadang sifat, karakter dan kebiasaan dari pasangan atau sahabat yang berbeda dengan kita, justru memberi warna tersendiri bagi hidup ini. They lighten up our life and brighten up our days.

Nggak semua orang pendiam cocok dengan yang sama-sama pendiam. Dan nggak semua orang yang rame, cocok dengan orang yang rame juga. Nggak semua orang introvert nyaman dengan sesama introvert, and vice versa.

It’s all about this unexplainable feeling called chemistry. In relationship.. we fill the gaps. Saling mengisi dan melengkapi. Bukan saling menuntut kesamaan dan mencari perbedaan. We are here to recharge each other, not to drain it.

A great relationship is about two things: First, appreciating the similarities and second, respecting the differences. We may be different but we are one.

If two people are really meant to be together, they will put efforts to make their relationship works. If that so, then nothing else matters 🙂

~ Jakarta, on the 27th night of October 2015.. to dear beloved, let the story of us begins all over again 🙂

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