Being Too Nice Can Hurt You

“It was a mistake,” you said.
But the cruel thing was, it felt like the mistake was mine, for trusting you.

So there is a friend of mine. Kawan yang cukup dekat. Ia begitu baik, terlalu amat baik. Bahkan terlalu baik untuk orang-orang yang tak pantas menerima kebaikannya.

Suatu ketika, kawan saya itu dikhianati oleh orang-orang yang sudah dianggapnya sahabat dekat. Ketika ia ditimpa kesusahan dihimpit kesulitan, mereka menjauh pergi. Sengaja pura-pura tidak tahu. They show no empathy at all. Bahkan mereka turut andil dalam kesusahan yang menimpa kawan saya tersebut.

Kawan saya tentu sangat kecewa. Di saat ia menganggap mereka seperti saudara, ternyata mereka tidak merasakan hal yang sama. Padahal mereka sering pergi bareng, ngobrol bareng, makan bareng, kemana-mana bareng. Ternyata kebersamaan itu tak ada artinya bagi mereka.

“Where do they go when I need them the most?’

Kawan saya itu, saking tulusnya, tak pernah tanggung-tanggung mencurahkan tenaga, waktu bahkan materi bagi teman-temannya yang sudah ia anggap seperti saudara. Apapun yang bisa ia lakukan, ia lakukan. Selain tulus, ia juga sangat pemaaf dan murah hati. Jarang sekali memiliki prasangka buruk terhadap orang lain.

Sekali waktu saya pernah protes,

“Kamu baik banget sih jadi orang. Terlalu baik malah, menurutku. Hati-hati lho, khawatirnya orang lain memanfaatkan kebaikanmu demi kepentingan mereka.”

Ta-da.. Bener kejadian kan.

Ia cukup terpukul dengan peristiwa itu. Tak pernah sedikitpun ia menyangka, orang-orang yang selama ini dekat di hatinya, sering jalan bareng, tak menganggapnya lebih dari teman biasa.

It really hurts, yes it does.

When we’ve discussed about this, I finally said..

“Nah, sekarang kamu tahu kan, nggak semua orang yang baik ke kamu, dan kamu anggap baik, benar-benar tulus dan baik ke kamu. Nggak semua orang bisa dipercaya, apalagi dijadikan sahabat dekat.

Bersyukurlah karena Allah telah tunjukkan, siapa aslinya mereka. Tanpa kamu harus susah-susah membuka topeng mereka satu persatu.”

I personally think that..

Jadi orang baik boleh-boleh aja. Asal tetap pakai logika. Sewajarnya aja. Jangan terlalu baik sampai rela dimanfaatkan orang. There’s a fine line between being kind and being fooled.

Jadi orang loyal dan setia boleh-boleh aja. Asal cermat kepada siapa loyalitas itu diletakkan. Jangan terlalu loyal terhadap sesuatu atau seseorang, sampai apa saja diberikan. Sampai lupa pakai akal sehat.

Amati dan perhatikan, pantaskah seseorang itu kita berikan cinta, ketulusan dan loyalitas?

Atau mereka hanya memanfaatkan kebaikan dan ketulusan hati kita?

Don’t give your loyalty to the wrong kind of people.

Be careful. Not everyone who smiles at you is your friend.

I often said this before, I know.

I’ve seen many good people —too good, I guess— being used, being fooled, being damaged by people they consider as friend, even best friend.

Wait a minute..

Why I talk often about lies, treachery and fakeness lately? You’re people keep guessing why, right? 🙂

Let me tell you then. That’s simply because.. I have testified the people I love, are going through that way, now.

Loneliness is bad, but not as bad as being hurt by a friend. By people you thought will never hurt you.

Saya melihat sendiri bagaimana orang-orang dekat saya menjadi korban ketidakjujuran, kepalsuan dan ketidakadilan manusia lainnya. Di masa lalu, maupun saat ini.

I saw how much they’ve been hurt and broken.

I encouraged them by words.

I wiped away their tears.

I gave them a special room in my heart for them to feel safe and sound.

I enveloped them with my warmest hug, and sent a prayer for them to be tough.

I believe it’d turn them out to be a fighter. To be stronger than before.

This far, alhamdulillaah saya belum pernah merasa dikhianati orang dekat, sahabat maupun keluarga. Dikecewakan dan ditusuk dari belakang oleh orang yang saya kenal, tentu pernah, tapi oleh orang-orang yang saya anggap sahabat dekat, alhamdulillah tidak.

Apa memang saya terlalu selektif dalam memilih teman dekat dan orang kepercayaan? Dunno.

In fact, I am blessed to have the people whom I love and love me back in return around me, time after time. They never leave me whenever I need them, and so do I to them. May Allah strengthen this ukhuwah, till our feet step into Jannah. Aamiin.

Trust is like a mirror. Once it’s broken it can be fixed, but you can still see the cracks.

Deep inside, I really hate people who betray and do fakeness, with all my heart.

I’m sick of people who used the kindness of good people for their own purpose. Taking advantage from other people then treat them like a trash, when their needs were fulfilled.

I have no tolerance for people who maliciously mean to another people who used to be too kind to them.

Those good people, they gave almost everything they have, sincerely, just to receive bitterness and cruelty.

They gave their trust and loyalty, just to get stabbed behind their backs.

Then the fake ones simply ask, with sympathetic tone of voice,

“Oh, why are you bleeding?”

((hammer))

Dear people I love,

I know you’ve been through these difficult times.

I know it’s not easy at the first time.

But let me tell you this, there is one thing for sure,

“Well, inilah hidup. We don’t always get what we want. But there is a lesson in every pain. Learn and move on. Have no regrets. Allah will replace it with something better, insha Allah.”

“This too shall pass. This will be over. Nothing lasts forever. Things will get better. And days will be brighter. Scars fade with time. And the ones that never go away, well, they build character, maturity, caution.”

“Remember, we mature with the damage, not the years”.

Hey dear…

I know it’s always sad when you discover the people you thought had your back, really just want to stab you in it. But in life, we meet people for a reason, either they’re a blessing or a lesson, don’t we?

Adalah sebuah keputusan yang bijak ketika kalian memilih untuk mengakhiri persahabatan dengan orang-orang seperti mereka. They don’t deserve your time, your sincerity, your kindness.

They don’t deserve a second chance either, they even never do apologize to you, right? By doing those bad things, they’ve handed you the scissors to cut off your relationship with them.

“Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy. Life is too short for bad and negative vibes.” ~Unknown

You didn’t become heartless, you just became smarter. Your happi­ness will not depend on someone else. Not anymore.

Dear people I love…

Yakinlah bahwa tiap kezhaliman yang manusia lakukan terhadap manusia lainnya, pasti ada balasannya. Sekecil apapun.

Selagi kalian dizhalimi, banyak-banyaklah memanjatkan do’a. Karena tidak ada hijab atau penghalang antara Allah dengan do’a hambaNya yang dizhalimi.

ثَلاَثَةٌ لاَ تُرَدُّ دَعْوَتُهُمْ: الإِمَامُ العَادِلُ وَالصَّائِمُ حَتَّى يَفْطُرَ وَدَعْوَةُ المَظْلُوْمِ

“Tiga doa yang tidak tertolak: Doa pemimpin yang adil, orang yang puasa hingga berbuka, dan doa orang yang dizhalimi”. (HR. Tirmidzi dan Ibnu Majah)

My dear…

Do you remember the day when I said..

“You see now, not everyone deserve to have a special place on your journey, right? The smarter you are, the more selective you become.” 🙂

You never lose friends, because real friends can never be lost. You lose people masquerading as friends, and you’re better for it.

Don’t you worry, pretty little minds. I am here, hugging you all with my prayers ❤

Love,

— Meutia Halida

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