Removing Toxic People from Your Life

run away gif

“You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life.

It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend, or a new acquaintance — you don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small.

It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.”

 —Danielle Koepke (via anditslove)

In life, you meet many types of people. There are people who sincerely mean well to you, and people who are maliciously mean. There are people who always bring the best in you, and people who can’t wait to bring you down.

Open your eyes and read the signs. Ada orang-orang yang ketika bersama mereka—disadari atau tidak— kita berubah menjadi jauh lebih buruk dari diri kita sebelumnya. We change into someone else, that definitely not us, a worse version of us.

Yes, negativity is contagius. That’s why we should pick carefully, whom we befriend with.

Toxic people are dream killers

Toxic people are real. They are dream killers. Toxic people tend to judge others, spread negativity, and have a gift for leaving you feeling heavy-hearted and stressed out after being in their presence.

“Toxic people often hide cleverly behind passive aggression. – Instead of openly expressing how they feel, someone makes subtle, annoying gestures directed at you. Instead of saying what’s actually upsetting them, they find small and petty ways to take jabs at you until you pay attention and get upset. Obviously this is a toxic relationship situation.” ~Unknown

Some say, spending time with toxic people, or people who are bad for us, can also take a toll on a persons personality. We find it difficult to feel the safety and security to express our authentic self.

We can get so wrapped up in the people around us that they can rub of on us and have a bad influence on us, particularly if they make us feel ashamed or embarrassed about the way we are. If they mock or put down our personalities we can change over time to become more like them and less and less like our true selves.

So this is my concern.

Banyak bergaul dengan orang-orang yang negatif, lambat laun akan mengubah kepribadian kita. Mereka akan mewarnai kita, menularkan pengaruh negatifnya, mengubah diri kita menjadi seperti mereka, tanpa pernah kita sadari.

Don’t expect to see positive changes in your life if you surround yourself with negative people. Don’t give part-time people a full-time position in your life. Know your value and what you have to offer, and never settle for anything less than what you deserve.

Block the road: Cut off

Letting go of toxic people is healthy for you. They are toxic and intoxicating you. They handed you the scissors, to cut off your relationship with them.

The person you liked, loved or respected in the past, who treated you like dirt again and again, has nothing intellectually or spiritually to offer you in the present moment, but headaches and heartache.

Sometimes staying with the person you love will break you more than being without them. And every now and then, they can make you feel so good about yourself, but just because they make you feel good does not mean they are not toxic.

Some people are not meant to stay in your life much longer than they deserve. You have to surround yourself with the people who will help you accomplish your dreams.

“Why do you constantly waste your time on people who are adamant about wasting your time. Time isn’t something you can get back, you’ll never get those moments back.

So be keen on who you surround yourself with. Be keen on who you consider a companion. Be keen on who you give your time to. Don’t give your priceless time to people who don’t deserve it.”


You are only going to be as good as the people you surround yourself with, so be brave enough to let go of those who keep weighing you down. Surround yourself with people who are only going to lift you higher.

In the end, just walkaway and wave goodbye to them. Enough is enough.

~ Jakarta, May 2016.. because your life is too precious to be wasted with someone who truly doesn’t belong there.


[ image source: Tumblr ]


9 thoughts on “Removing Toxic People from Your Life

  1. Ini bener2 persis sama yang aku alami sekarang kak! Surrounded by toxic people. Pokoknya di post kakak yang kali ini bener2 menyentuh hatiku biar ga terlaku overthinking sama those toxic people dan biar akunya ga capek hati dan pikiran juga kan ya wkwk
    Thanks a lot kak! Its inspiring me soo much :))


  2. hmm .. sebenarnya kalau kita bisa mengajak/memengaruhi toxic people buat berubah jadi positive people ngga masalah sih..
    soalnya ada orang2 yang tipenya influencer.. bisa mengajak orang ke kebaikan..
    tapi tipe kayak gini sedikit emang..

    tapi kalau kasusnya malah kita yang terpengaruh negatif. I agree with you..
    berusaha pergi atau minimalisasi kontak aja.. seraya mendoakan semoga mereka dapet hidayah.. 🙂


    • Aamiin.. Kita pun memohon hidayah pada Allah atas kekurangan kita sebagai manusia..

      Nah, sebenernya balik lagi ke tipe kitanya. Tipe leader/influencer apa tipe follower? Kalopun kita tipe influencer, kita harus yakin punya barrier yg kuat, supaya gak gampang terbawa. Alih2 mewarnai, malah terwarnai 🙂

      Kalo cuma sekadar negatif atau buruk aja, mungkin gak terlalu bahaya ya.. Yang bahaya kan yang buruk dan menularkan keburukannya ke orang lain. Ibaratnya mau nyemplung jurang pake ngajak2.. Ehehehe. Toxic and intoxicating. Kalo nggak kuat2 malah kita yang kena ‘racun’.

      Soal ini pernah aku tulis dalam postingan sebelumnya yang berjudul “Hijrah” 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. i usually don’t have a heart to removing toxic people from my life but when i do i do it good hehe sometimes they deserve that to know they are wrong and hopefully change themselves.


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