“Cinta dibangun atas pondasi komitmen serta kepercayaan. Jendela-jendelanya adalah komunikasi yang baik, saling memahami. Pintunya adalah memaafkan. Dan atapnya adalah mau menerima kekurangan dan kelebihan.
Itulah yang disebut bangunan cinta. Kokoh dan tahan lama.”
Hari ini pernikahan saya dan suami tepat memasuki tahun kesembilan. Sembilan tahun berjalan, banyak hal yang kami lewati bersama. A lot of things and feelings. Joy and sorrow, laughters and tears, thin and thick, and everything in between.
Alhamdulillaahillaadzi bini’matihi tatimushshaalihat ❤
After 9 years…
I believe that marriage is about hard work. It’s a mutual effort between each other. It’s about sharing the smooth and rough times together, and a commitment to give only the best to each other.
Somesay, when there is true commitment, the communication will thrive, and no matter the distance the relationship will blossom. However, if your (or their) heart is not in it, the smallest thing will become and obstacle to keep the relationship going, or even an excuse to end it. It is not the physical miles that separate you, but the distance in your own heart.
Figure out the hard times, enjoy the good but never give up on each other. Never let those obstacles loosen the bond between you two. A strong marriage is a solid teamwork, despite all the flaws and circumstances.
And after 9 years…
I realize that love is not about how many days, months, or years you’ve been together. Love is about how much you love each other every single day. It’s not about how far or how long you’ve walked, it’s about the quality of your journey.
Keep watchful and read the sign, if your marriage offer you a lot of pain and headache more than happiness and peace, maybe it’s not a healthy relationship. Not healthy for you, nor for your partner, nor for your children.
“A long but unhappy marriage is not a successful marriage. I have lots of friends in unhappy marriages for the sake of “keeping their family together”.
You can be married a long time but an unhappy marriage is not a successful marriage. It just confuses your children about what they should expect out of their own relationships someday.
What is worse than your unhappy marriage? Watching your child suffer through what they were taught by watching you.”
~ Quoted from Broken Marriage Quotes on Pinterest
Relationships never die a natural death. They are always murdered by attitude, behavior, ego, or ignorance. A good relationship is a proper combination of respect, friendship, understanding, communication and companionship.
No relationship is all sunshine, nor is it supposed to be. But two people can share one umbrella and survive the storm together. And when two people really care about each other, they always find a way to make it work. No matter how hard it is.
Your spouse is a friend in life and love. Having and raising kids together, building castle of dreams together and swimming through the high tides and survive all the storms together.
Sometimes we need someone to simply be there. Not to fix anything, or to do anything in particular, but just to let us feel that we are cared for and supported. To feel that we are loved, no matter what.
“Most people get married believing a myth that marriage is beautiful box full of all the things they have longed for; Companionship, intimacy, friendship etc … The truth is, that marriage at the start is an empty box, you must put something in before you can take anything out.
There is no love in marriage, love is in people, and people put love in marriage. There is no romance in marriage, you have to infuse it into your marriage. A couple must learn the art, and form the habit of giving, loving, serving, praising, of keeping the box full. If you take out more than you put in, the box will be empty.”
Marry your best friend and make the one whom you married, become your best friend. He or she is the person who will be your life long team mate. This is your journey. And when folks try to rain on your parade, just hold hands and stomp through the puddles.
In the end, to the best partner in life and the man of my dreams…
After all these years you are still amazing to me. This marriage is a blessing, and having you in my life is a complete blessing. And I want you beside me every day and night for the rest of forever.
After all these days full of sunshine, darkest hours, tears, laughters, ups and downs moments..
After the long and winding road we’ve been walking on together..
After everything that we’ve been through..
May Allah bless our journey and make this bond even firmer and stronger than before. ‘Til our feet step into Jannah, insha Allah.
~ Jakarta, August 18th 2016… after 9 years of a wonderful journey.
[ image source: Pinterest ]