Click!

“Don’t ever stray away from yourself to get closer to someone else. Authenticity is magnetic- be yourself and you’ll naturally pull your type of people to you. Remember, “Your vibe attracts your tribe.” – Project Happiness

Dulu, zaman masih abege kinyis-kinyis yang suka menggalau, di tengah krisis kepercayaan diri ala-ala remaja.. Seringkali bertanya-tanya meski dalam hati saja..

“Kenapa sih aku nggak bisa cocok dan disukai oleh setiap orang?

Kenapa sih, udah berusaha untuk baik ke semua orang, tapi masih ada aja yang nggak suka sama aku? Padahal aku nggak pernah berbuat sesuatu yang jahat ke mereka…

Kenapa sih, teman dekatku cuma beberapa aja.. Nggak bisa gitu ya satu komunitas jadi sahabatku semua?

Kenapa sih udah mencoba dekat dengan seseorang, tapi ujung-ujungnya nggak cocok? Dipaksain untuk dekat juga ujung-ujungnya garing. Krik krik…”

Setelah beranjak dewasa, melewati banyak peristiwa, menikmati berbagai pengalaman dalam hidup.. Saya sadar mengapa kita tidak ditakdirkan untuk dekat, cocok dan bisa menyenangkan hati semua orang.

It’s simple, because we were not made for that purpose. We were not made to please others. We were not made to be popular. We were not made to be a perfect partner for everybody.

We might have tried with all our might to be the kindest, brightest, most lovable person in the world, and still, there is somebody who dislikes or hates us for no reason.

It’s about a thing called chemistry.

Compatibility. Click. A special feeling about how we get attached to a certain person. The unspeakable and unseen emotional connection that comes naturally. And no words can exactly describe this kind of feeling.

We only feel this thing with a particular person. A person or people with mutual understanding and respect. A person or people whom we feel comfortably sharing sense of humor and laughing together for some silly jokes and a lot of things.

Sebagian orang bilang, di usia belasan dan awal 20-an kita cenderung mengumpulkan banyak teman dari berbagai kalangan. Sedang di usia 30-an kita mulai cerdas dan selektif memilih dan memilah, siapa teman-teman terbaik kita.

Siapa yang membuat kita nyaman dan sebaliknya. Siapa yang cocok untuk dipertahankan dan yang tidak. Siapa yang layak menemani kita menjalani hari-hari dengan segala problematikanya, dan mana yang cukup kenal and just “say hi” aja saat ketemu.

At this level, we tend to get smarter and wiser. We have no more room for negative energy and bad vibes. We don’t give the key to let strangers come in and mess with our heads. Just become more selective than ever.

There are people whom we don’t get along with, and that’s okay. We don’t need to be perfect and popular to deserve some love and acceptance. We just need a certain number of people who embrace our imperfection and love us for who we are.

We decide to no longer force things. What flows, flows, what crashes, crashes. We only have space and energy for things that are meant for us. And just totally alright with that. Later we learned and realized, that love, chemistry and loyalty, were something we couldn’t fake or force too much.

Jadi berhentilah untuk berusaha menjadi mereka, mereka, dan mereka yang lebih populer, lebih sempurna (di mata kita), lebih dicintai, hanya demi meraih simpati, memenangkan hati orang lain, atau agar diterima dalam sebuah komunitas.

You know why? Because that is burdensome. Keep changing ourselves to please everyone is the most exhausting thing to do. You will never feel good enough, no matter how hard you’ve tried.

Let them love and accept you for who you are. The real you. We’re not living to make everybody happy. If they don’t like us the way we are, let it be that way. Never force a friendship or relationship. If we don’t vibe, we don’t vibe.

Your vibe attracts your tribe. The only way to attract “your people” is to be yourself, be kind, be honest and be supportive. If they meant to be in your life, sure they will make an effort to it. And the opinion which other people have of you is definitely their problem, not yours.

Have a good day! 😊

~ Jakarta, August 2017.. chemistry, it’s not about something I feel for you, it’s about something I don’t feel for anyone but you..

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