“It’s like coming home after a long trip. That’s what love is like. It’s like coming home.” (Piper, Orange is the New Black)
Suddenly this night, some deep and meaningful lines flew my mind back to an unforgettable moment a few years ago. A moment when my world crumbled and shattered into pieces.
Almost drowned in tears, but tried my best to resist it. When the pain feels so unbearable. When my heart overwhelmed with misery.
And there I was, smiled the widest while my inside blown apart. It was really, really hard for me to breathe. Until a hand reached my shoulder, tenderly. And a pair of blurry eyes that silently whispered…
“Here, take a rest in my arms…”
Without words, without question, without saying a single word. Then tears streamed down my face, irresistible. I screamed my heart out. I let myself lost in the moment. Still, no words uttered.
That hand.. That look.. That smile.. That warm embrace..
Then my words and emotions flowed like a river, as well my tears. My heart was suddenly at ease. My burdens felt a little bit lighter. My vision became clearer.
I have let everything out of my chest. I have nothing to hide or be ashamed of. I felt like I’ve never been better.
Ia menenangkan saya dengan caranya. Tanpa kata, tanpa tanya, tanpa tatapan curiga. Hanya merengkuh diri ini dalam peluknya. Membiarkan air mata jatuh dan tangis pecah di bahunya. Menghentikan waktu untuk mendengarkan apa yang membuat saya begitu terluka.
Ia tahu, tanpa harus bertanya. Ia turut merasakan, tanpa perlu berkata-kata. Ia memahami, tanpa menghakimi.
Sometimes, when the you reach the lowest point of your life, all you really need is someone to hug you tight, without asking why, where, when, or how. And for a moment, you just let it be that way.
A silence, a beautiful silence that means more than a thousand words.
More than enough to mend those broken pieces. More than enough to make us stand still and strong. More than enough to let us know that we don’t need to bear it on our own.
To you, yes you…
If you read this one day.. I just wanna say how grateful I am to meet someone like you. Someone who knows and understands every dustiest corner of my mixed up soul, but still stays anyway.
Someone who always put that smile back on my face after walking through rainstorms. Someone who brings the best in me, supports me to be the real me, the independent me.
Someone who always be there, fighting dragons and conquering demons next to me, but let me do it with my own sword. Someone who gives me courage to be the stronger and wiser version of me.
Someone who believes in my own strength to handle all chaos, but offer itself as a company. Someone who let me shine my own light, bravely. Someone who feels like home.
Someone whom I always tell whenever the storms come over,
“I don’t want you to save me, I want you to stay by my side when I save myself…”
~ Jakarta, while enjoying the rhythm of November rain, 2017 ~
[ image source: Pinterest ]