The Power of Goodbye

“Close the window that hurts you, no matter how beautiful the view is…”

I think, one of the greatest power we may have in this life is the power of (saying) goodbye. Goodbye to the things which only hurt you, haunt you, and break you. Goodbye from any place or situation where you feel unwanted and don’t belong to.

That’s definitely not an easy thing to do. But somehow, we must to. We must learn to let go everything that keeps weighing us down. People and places which left footprints in our journey, but also left some permanent scars, too.

It’s never that easy, I know. Been there, too. But finally done with it, biidznillaah. Don’t ask me how hard it was, cause I myself have no idea how I had been through it all. Can’t imagine if Allah is not there to guide me, how could I survive?

All I remember is, time, a lot of time.. And the willingness to rise after falling are the key to stay strong and finally, move forward. Sure, there were days filled with grief, anger, and anxiety.

And suddenly I knew the meaning of this quote: “it doesn’t take a lot of strength to hold on, it takes a lot of strength to let go”.

At that moment, all I need to do is taking some personal space, spending some alone time. To process it, feel it under my skin, and breathe in the moment, deeply. Before I decide to accept it, let it go, and say goodbye. This time, for good.

Dalam proses healing, ada beberapa fase atau tahapan yang harus dilewati. Dari pengalaman saya sendiri, hal yang pertama saya rasakan adalah disbelief. I was in utter shock. Ketidakpercayaan bahwa hal ini terjadi. That this thing does really exist.

Still, I’m on denial for days. Masih belum bisa menerima bahwa ini nyata. But as more days passed, I realized.. This is too real to deny, but too painful to accept. It hurts, yes it was.

The next phase is: acceptance. I tried to accept, to make peace with reality. I was tired of running and escaping from it. I was awakened; so this is life, it’s not always filled with rainbows and cotton candy skies. But also storms and hurricanes.

The damage was still there, though. I just need to accept and live peacefully with it. There are things we can’t change, remember? So is the past. All we can do is learn a lesson from it. Without trying to alter nor erase it.

Terkadang, betapapun berartinya sesuatu bagi kita di masa lampau, kita harus belajar merelakan dan melepaskannya untuk kebaikan kita sendiri. Karena dengan menahannya lebih lama, hanya akan terus menyakiti diri dan meremukkan hati.

Sure there are things we can’t control, but don’t forget to remind ourselves that we have the power to control our own reaction to it. And that is the only thing that matter in that situation.

There is a sad part in every chapter or every person in your story, but never let that break your bones. Let the pain and misery teach you a lesson, but never let them define who you are.

Don’t we believe in qadr? What Allah decide for us to be, is only for our own sake. It might be hard for us to swallow, but that’s the truth. We never know the story behind Allah’s perfect plan. We’re only human.

A lot of things broke your heart, but fixed your vision. And yes, healing takes time. Don’t rush it, nor fake it, when you’re not ready yet. Let it drown you for a while, but always remind yourself to never forget how to swim and resurface.

Rock bottom will teach you lessons that mountain tops never will, they said. There are sorrowful and gloomy days, but sun will shine and you’ll find yourself smiling over those moments of hardship.

There are things in the past which better remain there. People which better known as a lesson or a memory. Let them stay there, never open the same door in the name of better closure. It’ll end up cutting you open and hurting you again.

You can only move on if you accept that it’s gone. It’s not (good) for you. And it’s out of your life, slipped from your hands, for a reason. A reason you may not know today, but perhaps days after tomorrow will reveal why.

Just like a saying, growth is uncomfortable. Because you’ve never been here before, you’ve never been this version of you. But trust me, it’ll be totally worth it.

Know your worth. You deserve better days, better places, better people. And in order to heal you must stay away from what broke you. Let it hurt, let it bleed, then let it go..

~ Jakarta, on a rainy Monday afternoon of October 2020, inspired by some lines I found on Pinterest today.

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[ image source: Pinterest ]