Air Mata

“Sad people love the rain. Because they are no longer crying alone….” ~Unknown

Dalam episode kehidupan ini, pasti ada masa-masa di mana kita merasa terpuruk dan berduka. Hari-hari di mana kita merasa bahwa inilah hari terburuk sepanjang sejarah perjalanan hidup kita.

Saat-saat di mana rasa sedih, kecewa, terluka, putus asa dan tak berdaya lebur menjadi satu. Di mana tak ada lagi air mata tersisa, hanya kehampaan yang menyesakkan dada.

To be honest, I’ve been there. Those days when my world feels crumbled and fell apart in a blink of eye. When I was at the lowest point of my life. When I was overwhelmed with grief. When I was almost give up on myself.

Jatuh dan terluka.. Manusia mana yang tak pernah mengalaminya? Sedih, kecewa, marah, putus asa dan untuk sejenak merasa tak berarti adalah sifat yang wajar untuk dirasakan seorang manusia.

Hati manusia tidak terbuat dari pualam yang tidak mudah retak. Jiwa manusia tidak terbuat dari baja yang tidak mudah rapuh. Kita hanya manusia biasa, yang bisa dengan mudah menangis dan bersedih tatkala terluka.

Kehilangan sesuatu yang sangat kita impikan, kecewa karena harapan tidak sejalan dengan kenyataan, menghadapi cobaan yang terasa sangat berat, berkonflik dengan sahabat atau pasangan, disakiti oleh orang yang sangat kita sayangi…

When we’re at that weakest, lowest point of our life, what shall we do?

Ketika merasa sangat terluka, sedih dan kecewa karena suatu hal, saya akan memilih untuk melepaskan semua beban emosional itu, dengan cara saya sendiri. Menangis, menulis, menyendiri, melakukan hal-hal yang dapat mengalihkan sejenak dari kesedihan.

Ketika bersedih, sebagai manusia biasa tentu saya akan menangis. Akan saya biarkan air mata ini jatuh, sampai tiba saatnya merasa bahwa semua lara sudah terlepaskan dengan air mata.

Kita seringkali mendengar bahwa menangis adalah simbol kelemahan. Menangis identik dengan sifat cengeng, pengecut, penakut. Tapi bagi saya, tidak sama sekali. Menangis adalah tanda bahwa kita ini manusia. Manusia yang bisa terluka, kecewa dan merasakan kepedihan.

Menangislah bila harus menangis. Jangan pernah menahan air mata yang ingin jatuh. Biarkan ia jatuh. Biarkan semua duka terlepaskan. Biarkan semua sakit hati terluapkan. Biarkan diri kita untuk sejenak saja, jadi manusia seutuhnya.

Menangislah, karena kita manusia. Never pretend that everything is okay, everything is fine, but deep inside, we know it’s not.

Jujurlah pada diri sendiri. Kita sebagai manusia pasti pernah dan boleh merasakan kecewa, marah, sakit hati, terluka. Kita bukan benda mati yang tak punya hati. Kita hanya manusia biasa, yang tak luput dari kelemahan.

And when the sadness come over you one day, try to feel that pain through your skin. Sink deep enough until you didn’t realize how long it was. Don’t rush yourself to heal all those broken pieces.

You got hurt. You cried. You suffered. Those uneasy and difficult moments you think you’ll never get over.. Just feel it, completely.

“If you don’t let it out, the grief becomes a scream trapped inside your soul, a constant cry in the dark, a sob you can never release. So scream, shout, cry, the way the sky does with thunder and lightning and rain… for it knows it is being cleansed, it knows that it’s storm is the only way to release the pain.” ~Nikita Gill

Jika memang belum benar-benar sembuh, maka biarkan ia pulih dengan sendirinya. Jangan dipaksa untuk segera sembuh. Jangan memalsukan perasaan bahwa luka itu telah hilang dan menutup dengan sempurna.

Jika kita terburu-buru untuk menutup sang luka, berpura-pura telah move on dan bahagia, sementara dalam hati kecil kita tahu persis bahwa kita belum sepenuhnya sembuh dan pulih.. Maka suatu saat nanti, luka itu akan mudah untuk kembali menganga.

Maybe it will take some days, some months, some years to heal all the pain inside. Tiap kita memiliki rentang waktunya sendiri untuk memulihkan luka dan move on dari masa lalu. Trust your own time. Never rush.

Don’t rush things. Let it flow, let the pain fade naturally. Shed your tears, release all your burdens. Scream your heart out. Find someone you can talk to. Someone who will help you to unpack your emotional baggage.

Remind yourself that everything is gonna be okay. Remind yourself that the storm will pass, and spring will come. Remind yourself that life goes on, no matter what. Remind yourself that this.. is just another test of life.

It’s just the way this all was meant to be.

Some people say, “boys don’t cry”. A statement I strongly disagree with. Boys are human, just like girls. They are allowed to be sad, allowed to feel down, allowed to experience pain, allowed to cry. They are human, just like women.

Meski perasaan pria tidaklah sesensitif perempuan, namun mereka tetaplah manusia. Tak adil rasanya jika perempuan boleh meluapkan rasa dengan menangis, sedang laki laki tidak. Rasulullah pun, manusia yang paling kuat hatinya, pernah berduka dan menangis.

“There will be bad days. Be calm. Loosen your grip, opening each palm slowly now. Let go. Be confident. Know that now is only a moment, and that if today is as bad as it gets, understand that by tomorrow, today will have ended.” ~Shane Koyczan

Embrace your weakness, own your failures and for that moment, feel the “human” inside of you. And be grateful for that. That means you’re still here, breathing, and thankfully, alive.

Calm down, pull yourself together. Every heartbreak is an opportunity to learn a new lesson. A lesson that teaches you to stand up, high.. Makes you stronger than before. Makes you tougher, no matter how rough!

So when another reality of life strike and leave you stranded in the corner, just remind yourself that it is okay to cry, to feel sad and be human. It is okay to own your pain. It is okay to speak about why it hurts.

It is alright to tell yourself,

“Yes, right now I am hurt. I am breaking inside. I am not okay. Give me a little time and space to feel, embrace and heal it all. That’s all I need.”

All the pain we endured, all the rejection we received, all the tears that streamed down our face, they tell us about something. They teach us about a lesson. And the biggest lesson we’ve learned is, “It’s okay.”

It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to shed these tears. It’s okay to get mad. It’s okay to be flawed. It’s okay to be imperfect. It’s okay to be human.

It’s okay for us to be kind to ourselves. It’s okay to be happy. It’s okay to start a brand new life and turn the page into another chapter. It’s okay to move on.

~ Jakarta, rainy November 2017… what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger~!


[ image source: Pinterest ]


6 thoughts on “Air Mata

  1. Umm,,i haven’t visit your blog for a long time. This morning, i feel bad so bad.Then i found my self here, reading some of your writing. i felt tears rolling down..Yes this is November, hard rain often coming so i wont’t crying alone. Getting hurt by your love one is so hurt..and i try to deal with my heart to say its ok to be not ok..its ok to cry..
    Thank you, your writing give me more energy to pull myself together..I think i still have a bucket of ‘Sabar’ and I ask Allah to fill it full every time and ask Him to help me and not leave me alone even for a single blink of eye. I just need some space..Thank you, big hug dear ukhty,,Jazakilllahu khairan


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